TINY STORY NO.4: CLOSING THE CHAPTER

film diaries, tiny stories

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Buildings just became buildings; some people will remain as close friends and not just mere colleagues, and everything else I have laid to rest. It’s funny how four years of life can go by just like that. I’m taking with me the happy moments and great learnings (that came out both from good and bad experiences), but aside from that there would be no further attachments. I told myself that this is a place where people come and go. I talked to a friend who has also just resigned from her work as well, who stayed for the same length of time as I did, and we came up with the conclusion that we did what we can, we gave our best, but this is it.

It was once a blessing. It wasn’t out of whim that I submitted my letter. There are paths that took a different turn, the walls started to seem like they’re caving down on me. That was the signal for me that it’s time to go. I appreciate the people who made it seem like I am celebrating another round of my birthday before I left. My last week was full of gifts and heartwarming support from the people I’ve grown close with.

I thought that there would be a lot of words left to say. It has been a habit of mine to write about things or events as they come to an end, as if each letter I pen down is the last act of closing doors, or ending chapters in my life. But surprisingly, this is all I have. Goodbye. I’ll see you around.

OLD HEART

film diaries

Old heart,
are your eyes still clear enough
to see the beauty
beyond those wrinkled lines?

Old heart,
your limbs have weaken,
your bones can be easily broken,
but do you still dream of running after her?

Old heart,
how do you mourn for lost love?
Does it bring you tears at night
knowing that there wouldn’t be anyone
next to you when morning comes?

Do you still reach out in the darkness,
hoping that there would be a hand
to meet your touch?

Does it fill you with longing
for companionship that is
no longer there,
when you look across the table?

Old heart,
   how painful it is for you
to wait for the time,
   when your two old hearts
will be united once again.
— September 2014


When I see old people eating alone, there’s a tiny ache in my heart that I couldn’t place and this is my feeble attempt of expressing it. Along with more underexposed photos from my second film roll. Bikes with baskets fascinate me (it’s in my bucket list to own one); along with the carousel it reminds me of childhood memories.  Youth and age blends here.

FROM LONG AGO

film diaries

I love you
in a sincere way,
that makes me love you
despite the scars
and flaws.

— May 01, 2013

Amidst the darkness of the world,
there is a flicker of light,
right there in your heart.
Do not let it die,
but make it ablaze like fire.

— August 18, 2013

What if the day you only have is today?
Would you do things differently?
Maybe you’ll climb a little higher,
walk a little bit slower.
Love more, and breathe.
Breathe deeper.
Take every second in.

— September 15, 2013


Underexposed photos from my second film roll, and some spilled thoughts that I found in my writing notebook. I dare not call it poetry, what I have written is still a far cry from it. These words have been hidden for so long, to the point of expired emotions that came with it before; time to bring it out to the light.

MUSEUM HOP: NATIONAL GALLERY, SINGAPORE

museum hop, travel journals

Twinning places. Got this idea from a trending Facebook post; Pose in the same place when you don't have a photographer with you (or too shy to ask other tourists). Twinning places. Got this idea from a trending Facebook post; Pose in the same place when you don’t have a photographer with you (or too shy to ask other tourists).

Our tour guide, Jane, explaining the history of the place. I didn't want to bombard my previous post with too much photos, so here are the rest of the details and paintings that caught my eye.  Our tour guide, Jane, explaining the history of the place. I didn’t want to bombard my previous post with too much photos, so here are the rest of the details and paintings that caught my eye.

Untitled (Can we be ironic?), Simryn Gill

Untitled (Can we be ironic?), Simryn Gill

Mythology: Return History's Whore, His Mother, Cesare Syjuco (Philippines)

Mythology: Return History’s Whore, His Mother, Cesare Syjuco (Philippines)

Various collage works by Milenko Prvscki. Since I'm exploring the same medium, my eyes are easily drawn to these kind of artworks.

Various collage works by Milenko Prvscki. Since I’m exploring the same medium, my eyes are easily drawn to these kind of artworks.

The Ceiling, China Collage series by Roberto Chabet

The Ceiling, China Collage series by Roberto Chabet

The writings on the wall. Found artistic wisdom withing the walls of the museum's library.

The writings on the wall. Found artistic wisdom withing the walls of the museum’s library.

Spotted a Juan Luna! Apologies if my camera phone can't do justice to España y Filipinas.

Spotted a Juan Luna! Apologies if my camera phone can’t do justice to España y Filipinas.

Various Chinese paintings by Wu Guanzhong

Various Chinese paintings by Wu Guanzhong

We were quite running out of time so I wasn’t able to take note of all the artist’s name. But I hope I my low-tech phone camera was able to give even just a little bit of justice to these works of art (let me know if you have tips and tricks on capturing images in low light, or how to take better shot in museums). If ever you’ll travel to Singapore someday, this place is worth visiting. Allot half of your day for this if you want to go all through the galleries and exhibits, because the place does not disappoint in its hugeness.

NOTHING PLACES

film diaries

“Nothing Places” in which one could be assured of complete privacy, we agreed that we never would look at the marked-off zones, that they would be non-existent territories in the apartment in which one could temporarily cease to exist…it seemed necessary, because there are times when one needs to disappear…and sometimes one simply wants to disappear.” Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

When my words fail me, I borrow from others and hope that they won’t mind. Today I owe my words from Jonathan Safran Foer (all the words above are his). I’m currently reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, and there’s a narrative which tells the story of a man who lost his words, slowly, one by one, until he can’t speak no more. I’ve been wanting to write, but right now I am like that man. I wonder if it’s because life is passing by too fast again that my hands can’t catch up in writing down the words, or maybe I’m not yet ready to let the paper bleed. So for now, I leave you with film photographs arranged into a digital collage.