film diaries, in my life






“To see if the dreams dissolve when you become one of the characters, once you’re not just passing through.” -Kylie Flavell

Lately, I’ve been engrossed in watching travel vlogs, videos, or documentaries (if we are to formally call it). For someone who is quite short in budget, this is the cheapest form of escape — through the eyes and stories of other people.

More than ever I find myself wanting to leave. To live in another place aside from this hometown. Maybe it’s the summer heat. Maybe it’s the routinary days. Maybe it’s the lack of space. Home became too familiar, until it doesn’t feel like home anymore. I often find myself homesick for a place I have yet to call home.

It makes me question myself: Am I simply envious? Am I not content? How do I make the most out of what’s been given to me? Will I get to leave? Or do I only stay? Who knows, who knows, only time can tell. I have to keep on reminding myself that life is as sweet as we make it to be. I am teaching myself to be present, to appreciate the here and now.

Maybe it’s just another round of positive thinking, but whatever works to get me out of this longing can do me good. For now, we are here. The places won’t be going anywhere, we are. We’ll get there someday.

I wrote this over a year ago, in a journal I entitled named “Mine, For Now” (until my heart is ready to share them with any one, any soul). This was the first narrative that leapt from those pages to the screen.

The questions remain, maybe they will leave on the same day that I do.


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