blogging, in my life

There are moments in my life that makes blogging superficial. Parents fighting, family conflict, failures, and my never-ending-shortcomings. In my previous “home” in the world wide web, I often wonder if I’m being real. I often find myself thinking if I’m being true enough to the words that I write. I know that I can’t divulge every little detail of my life in this small space, but still I want to be authentic. There’s a desire within me to write more honestly than before.

It was one of the reasons why I stopped blogging for a while. I felt like I was posting stuff just for the sake of posting. I didn’t care about the content anymore, as long as it looks alive and active. There were bandwagons of entries that looked appealing to a lot of people of which I joined; Who wouldn’t love the likes, reblogs, and followers that one can gain? Even if I hate to say this, but for a while I was blinded by the promise of being famous and recognized by the online community. As what I have said countless times before, maybe it’s because of my desperation to become a writer that I need a few nods to prove that I can be one. So, I took blogging seriously but forgot the essence of it along the way.

It took a lot of thinking if I should start another blog, or even transfer to another blogging site. I was attached to my Tumblr because I met some bloggers there who eventually became my friends. It was also a record of my college life. But it was a necessary move on my part, because this would push me to express my thoughts seamlessly. To create something original and what truly interests me. To forgo the norm and tell stories, no matter if they came out of pain or happiness.

I don’t want to add more “noise” in the online world. I want this blog to be an avenue to share my story to people, even if my life is far from perfect. Hopefully, I’ll meet like-minded people as I present the pieces of my life, and maybe meet persons who are going through the same season as me. It’s time to go beyond the surface.

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